Review for Spring 2019

This semester I had made some progress in my life. And I felt my efforts started paying off.

I wanted to challenge stuff I wanted to do but hadn't, so I joined the choir. I always wanted to  feel connected to a big team to do something big like a performance. I leaned how to coordinate with people to create the sensitive and perfect harmony. And my brain got definitely better at tuning my tones and pitches. I first felt it would be impossible to be a part of the traditional choir without any solid music experience, but I came to like signing a lot.

Also, I got close to some people. And I now have an important person I am going out with. I didn't think I am a person who likes and is liked by someone. Actually, I had been really concerned about my personality for the last semesters.

My counselor and the book I read during the spring break helped me get out of my negative rumination. Not thinking but taking actions was a most effective remedy for me. As a result, mood swings didn't happen a lot. I learned how to get close to people I trust. I realized I aggravated with being rejected and judged and failing. But I came to see that people around me actually welcome who I am and who I want to be. I sometimes get back to myself who is scared of people, but I believe it's getting better. I always want to have hopes in any situations. And because I wouldn't have met my friends if I had not taken an action, I want to get to know more people. It is great that I came to feel this way naturally without feeling obligated. 

Academically, I gained more experience in speaking and presenting this semester. But I was kind of bored of my classes. And I was thinking of changing schools. I swear I will take as fewer 100 level classes as possible from now on. I will take (or even create) more intellectually challenging classes and study abroad. I appreciate a lot of opportunities I have gained at DePauw, but I could have seeked for more opportunities to challenge my thinking at all - that is all about studying cognitive science. 

I am delighted to participate in the cognitive science fellowship at U Penn this summer. I won the prindle prize for the neuroscience work, gained an opportunity to go to a psychological conference, and I will join ITAP next semester. Not winning something but constantly learning more challenging stuff and refining my thoughts are all what I want to do.

I will update my thoughts in the next post!